


the view from here

by mollyelle



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 07:15:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17844863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollyelle/pseuds/mollyelle
Summary: Blaine can feel his heart being torn in two: between Kurt, the boy he thought was his destiny, and Sebastian, the boy he barely knows, but always leaves him wanting more. Every moment that passes, he knows it’s less and less of a choice.





	the view from here

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Seblaintine Bingo! I used card 1, column 2 (Quiet, Flurries, Skin on Skin, Stars, Tea). The fic is divided into 3 parts and the designated prompts are listed at the top of each part. I also wrote it as a (somewhat) sequel to “when the curtain falls) which is located here {http://mollywritesseblaine.tumblr.com/post/41317047492/when-the-curtain-falls-sebastianblaine}, so I would recommend reading that first if you haven’t already. This fic can be read as a stand-alone, but some of the references/callbacks might not make sense if you haven’t read WTCF. Enjoy!

_**i. Flurries and Quiet** _

They don’t have sex.

And Blaine thanks God because the second Kurt would’ve reached for his belt, he would’ve seen nothing underneath. And the questions would’ve started.

Questions Blaine isn’t sure he can answer yet, even if he wanted to.

They do spend the night together though. Once Blaine arrives at Breadstix, Kurt apologizes for how awkward things have been and stays glued to Blaine’s side all night. He says he knows that sex won’t just magically fix all of their problems, so he suggests just spending the night together. Blaine’s parents are out of town until the following morning, and Kurt can tell his dad he accidentally fell asleep at the after party.

The night should feel peaceful. Blaine should be comforted by the boy in his bed, exhaling quietly, cuddled into his side, nuzzling into his neck. He just finished a loud show, he should relish the silence.

Instead, it’s deafening. All he can hear is Sebastian’s salacious suggestions, running through his mind all night long. The events play back and no matter how he tries, nothing will replace them.

When the morning comes and the light shines through his bedroom window, he makes a show of stretching and yawning, hoping to jostle Kurt from his deep slumber. It works, Kurt stretches in response and smiles up at him.

“Hey you, what time is it?”

Blaine smiles back, hoping he looks sincere and not terrified, “Just past 8.”

Kurt groans, “Guess I should probably be heading home. I’m sure my dad will be checking in on me soon.”

Kurt leans up to kiss Blaine before getting out of bed and getting dressed. Blaine sits in a daze for a moment before realizing he should follow. He throws a T-shirt over his head and slips on his boxers as Kurt gathers his things. The two of them make their way down the stairs and when they’re at the front door, Kurt turns around and rests his back against it, smiling at Blaine dreamily.

“I had a really great night.”

Blaine forced a smile on to his face that he hopes comes across as reassuring, “Me too, wish you didn’t have to go.”

Kurt is still smiling, “Yeah? You want me to stay?”

_Yes, please stay because if you don’t, I’ll do something I’ll regret._

_Yes, but please go so I can jerk off to the memory of someone who’s not you._

“I do, but your Dad will kill me if you stay much longer,” Blaine says with a little laugh, leaning in to kiss Kurt on the cheek as he opens the front door. Kurt pulls his coat closer to him and kisses Blaine back, this time on the lips, and replies.

“I love you.”

The rock in Blaine’s throat drops to his stomach, but he responds, “Love you too” as the door shuts. 

And then suddenly the house is quiet.

Too quiet.

Blaine is filled with all this pent up energy as he paces the downstairs foyer of his parents house. He tries to distract himself with tv, with games on his phone, but nothing does the trick.

So he does the very last thing he should do.

He sends a text. 

_Come over._

He is so shocked by his own behavior that he throws the phone across the couch like it’s going to bite him. He falls face down, groaning into a pillow.

He should just act like he fell back asleep, sent the text to the wrong person.

That’s what he’ll do, claim he meant to text Kurt. Sebastian doesn’t know he was just here. So he reaches over to respond to the text, but the second he opens the message, there’s a response.

_Good morning to you too._

Blaine freezes. He can’t help it, he wants to know what Sebastian’s going to say next.

_Are you alone?_

Blaine bites his lip just thinking about the boy on the other end of the phone, just waking up, hair sticking out every which way, most likely naked and fuck. He tries to distract away from the situation with humor.

_No, my parents are waiting to meet you before they agree to give you my hand in marriage._

He can’t hear it, but Sebastian is chuckling to himself in bed. And looking around for his keys, his wallet, his clothes.

Blaine lies back down on the couch and closes his eyes. Minutes pass like hours. He doesn’t know if he’s waiting for the doorbell to ring or for Sebastian to fall back asleep so he can forget this whole thing ever happened.

And then the phone dings again.

_Jesus it’s cold as fuck out here. Think it might snow._

Blaine goes to the front window and peeks outside. Sure enough, a few flurries are falling from the sky. He responds, maybe too quickly.

_Well hurry up and get over here so I can warm you up._

He doesn’t want to sound as desperate as he feels, but he’s quite certain that’s exactly what’s happening. But the damage has been done so all he can do now is watch the snow fall from the sky, and wait.  
…

By the time the doorbell rings, the snow is still falling and Blaine’s heart is still racing.

And then he opens the door. And his heart stops.

Sebastian is standing there in a light black coat, and the snow is sticking to his hair, his shoulders, his gloves.

He looks like a goddamn angel when they both know he’s anything but.

In another world, where things weren’t so irrevocably fucked up, Blaine could surge forward, kiss the sweet taste of the snow off of Sebastian’s lips and drag him upstairs to his room.

As things stand now, all he can do is breathe out, “Come in, its freezing.”

Sebastian rushes in and shuts the door, smirking as he replies, “Well yeah, especially for someone who isn’t wearing pants.”

Blaine doesn’t know what he’s thinking, trying to seduce this boy who is not his boyfriend. He doesn’t even seduce his own boyfriend, that’s what got him here.

But he tries to play it cool, act like Sebastian’s comment doesn’t have him reeling. He points to the bottle in Sebastian’s hand, “What’s that?”

Sebastian raises it proudly, “A little Courvoisier for our coffee since I didn’t get to have any before this little booty call.”

“I…this isn’t,” Blaine is stumbling over his words. He didn’t expect Sebastian to call his bluff so quickly, but then he thinks, as long as he’s known Sebastian (which really hasn’t been long at all), he’s never been shy about saying what’s on his mind.

“Hey, doesn’t bother me,” Sebastian replies with a smirk.

Blaine follows like a pathetic puppy dog as Sebastian heads to his kitchen and rummages through the cabinets looking for coffee mugs. He finds two plain blue ones, and instantly spots the French press on the counter. He hums in approval and goes to work making coffee for the two of them. Blaine just sits on the barstool at the kitchen island and watches, every move made with purpose: to tease Blaine, leave him wanting.

And god damn does it work.

When Sebastian’s finished, he turns around, sliding one cup across the counter to Blaine and keeping one for himself. He easily takes a large drink and watches as Blaine raises the cup to his lips. Blaine’s drink is much smaller than his, but he can tell the second the alcohol hits his throat. Blaine coughs lightly, although he tries not to show it. Sebastian laughs and Blaine instantly glares as he puts the cup down.

“Sorry that some of us didn’t grow up in Paris,” he mumbles defensively.

Sebastian moves around the kitchen island smoothly and carefully, like a jaguar stalking its prey. Blaine can barely understand how he ends up in front of him, how Sebastian coaxes his legs open so that he’s standing in between them. Sebastian reaches over, takes another large swallow of his coffee and instantly bends down to kiss Blaine. He slides his tongue inside effortlessly and Blaine practically shivers at the sweet mix of coffee and Courvoisier on his tongue.

They stand there in the quiet of the kitchen, Blaine reaching his hands around Sebastian’s waist to hold him in place as they kiss. When Sebastian pulls away, Blaine finds himself chasing the kiss and when he opens his eyes, there’s that self assured smile again.

“Easier to swallow that way?”

He’s talking about the alcohol but there is so much more that Blaine is having trouble swallowing. This is so different than who he’s ever been.

But he also doesn’t want it to stop. And when they talk, it stops. Blaine prefers the quiet, when it’s only the two of them connected and he doesn’t have to think about anything but how good Sebastian makes him feel. He reaches down for his cup and drinks quickly until everything is gone. He can still feel the burn in his throat, but Sebastian’s eyes are blazing hotter than anything, and he knows he can’t wait any longer.

“Let’s go upstairs.”

There’s no desperation in Sebastian’s movements, he simply grabs the bottle and lets himself be guided up the stairs. As soon as they get to Blaine’s room, he shuts the door behind him and Blaine backs him up against the door, effectively pinning him there. 

“So that bashful schoolboy thing? Just an act?” 

Sebastian has to know if this wild streak has always been inside Blaine or if he is the inspiration. He thinks it’s the latter, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling pretty proud of that.

“Can you ever just be quiet?” Blaine is frustrated in more ways than one, “I like it better when you’re quiet.”

“That’s funny because I think I’d like you better loud.”

Blaine surges forward, “Oh my god just shut up and kiss me already.”

The second their lips press together Blaine feels the sparks from the previous day all over again. When he opens his mouth to allow Sebastian’s tongue to enter, he can still taste the bittersweet flavor of the coffee and the alcohol. 

It’s intoxicating.

When they break apart for air, Blaine takes a deep breath, tries to calm his racing heart, “I have…absolutely no clue what’s happening here. This is so wrong.”

Sebastian drags his lips away from Blaine’s, leaves soft pecks along his jaw, moves behind his ear, “Why?”

Blaine stills in Sebastian’s grip, pushes back from him just slightly, “What do you mean, why?”

Sebastian stops what he’s doing, stares deep into Blaine’s eyes, “You feel good, don’t you?”

With Sebastian so close to him, Blaine feels like he can feel every hair on his body standing up. He breathes out, “Yes.”

And then he realizes, Sebastian’s next question could be anything and he would say yes. Sebastian could reach down, pull down his zipper and slide his hand inside and he would say yes. He could strip Blaine naked, roll him onto his stomach and lick into him until he cried and Blaine would say yes.

_Yes, you can be my first. Yes, you can have me._

When he snaps out of his daydream, Sebastian is leaning forward, ready to kiss him again, and Blaine is just about to give in when he hears it.

“Blaine, we’re home! You awake?”

He practically whimpers, not because his parents are home and there’s a strange boy in his bedroom, but because it means that boy now has to leave. Sebastian puts a finger to his lips as he hears his mom go, “He must still be asleep. He could’ve cleaned up these dishes before he went to bed.”

He prays his mom doesn’t smell what’s in Sebastian’s cup, doesn’t march right upstairs and ask why Blaine is putting liquor in his coffee. Sebastian leans back down again and whispers into his ear, “See you soon, killer.”

And then like that, he is gone, sneaking out the window and scaling down the side of Blaine’s house like it’s not the first time he’s done this.

And as Blaine watches him from the window, he knows, not so deep down, that it is far from the first time for Sebastian.

He groans, walking over and falling back on the bed, determined to relegate his bad behavior to a bad dream. But as his eyelids fall closed, he can see the snow sparkling through his open window and he can’t help but think that it’s only the second most beautiful thing he’s seen that day.

ii. Skin to Skin and Stars

Blaine tries everyday to act like his stomach isn’t doing flip flops when he walks down the hall hand in hand with Kurt, that it doesn’t feel wrong to be skin to skin with his boyfriend.

When his friends ask who he’s texting, it’s always someone else. With Tina, he’s texting Sam. With Sam, he’s texting Kurt.

He’s a fraud. And it should just end.

He has a huge math test to study for so he tells Kurt that he’s going off the grid, not answering texts or phone calls no matter how much he begs. And he fully intends to stick to that.

Until the phone dings.

He knows it can’t be Kurt, he respects Blaine’s boundaries. Plus, the second Blaine told him he would be busy, he instantly planned a girls night with Rachel.

He’s praying he’s wrong. _Please be Kurt_ , he silently begs.

_Come over._

Decidedly not Kurt.

_Fuck._ Why did he look? He needs to focus on his test. Just a quick text to make it go away.

_I’m studying._

Almost instantly the replies come through.

_Well, stop. Come meet me at Dalton._

_Lacrosse fields._

_Under the stars._

From anyone else, the gesture would be romantic. Sweet.

_I can see the stars from my window_

_Yes, but can you see this from your window?_

And then a picture comes through of Sebastian shirtless, flaunting in his bathroom mirror.

Blaine rolls his eyes but his eyes linger for longer than they should. He wants to touch, to feel Sebastian’s abs shudder under his fingertips. He’s desperate to feel his skin, to taste it. He tries to remember, Sebastian is no good. He probably has backups in case Blaine doesn’t answer.

_And exactly how many boys did you just send that to?_

There’s a pause and Blaine feels like a fool. And then the response comes.

_One._

Blaine’s breath hitches in his throat. But Sebastian has one more card to play.

_I want you, Blaine. Come over._

Blaine can only remember one time when Sebastian called him by his first name, and it was that night on the side of the stage, the one he can’t get out of his head no matter how hard he tries. He can’t decide if he’s being played or if he’s different. If Sebastian wants to let him in.

Tonight, he finds he doesn’t much care.

_Okay. I’m coming._

_Not yet, but you will be._

And if he didn’t have the proof of it right there on his phone, Blaine would swear that moment of sincerity had never existed at all.

He grabs his keys and leaves the same way Sebastian did before, not wanting his parents to ask questions about where he’s going. For Sebastian, practice made perfect, he was able to climb out onto the ledge outside of Blaine’s window and slide down with ease. As soon as Blaine gets outside, he regrets his decision. He almost slips on the tiles outside his window and he thinks that would be just great for his parents to discover him on the front lawn with a broken ankle on the way to cheat on his boyfriend.

He blocks that last part out of his mind, he needs to concentrate.

He manages to sit down on the ledge and slide down. He falls somewhat clumsily on the ground, but no limbs are injured so he considers it a win. He walks a little ways down the road and pulls out his phone to get an Uber; he would take his own car, but doesn’t want his parents to see.

Those are questions he still can’t answer, and he doesn’t plan on facing them tonight.

When the car arrives, he offers up the destination and adds, “My brother goes to school there.” He doesn’t know why; money is money and Dalton Academy isn’t a particularly conspicuous place to go.

Except he does know why. The real reason is something he can’t admit out loud to anyone.

It’s a short journey, but enough time for Blaine to slightly panic about what he’s doing. As he gets out of the car, he can barely register when he’s paid. He’s about to send a quick text to Sebastian, but earlier he mentioned the lacrosse fields, so he heads over in that direction. The lights are on, but no one is in sight. And then he sees him and the panic completely subsides.

Sebastian is standing on the field in a Dalton T-shirt and track pants and Blaine registers a thought of _this is wrong I shouldn’t be here_ before quickly brushing it aside.

“Hi,” he says quietly, despite no one else being around.

“Wasn’t sure you’d show,” Sebastian replies with a salacious grin, “How does it feel to be bad?”

“Not as bad as it should,” Blaine admits, looking down, his hands in his pockets.

“Oh come on, cheer up,” Sebastian murmurs, tilting Blaine’s chin up to face him, “This won’t be any fun if you’re sad.”

His tone is mocking, but his face is glowing in the lights from the field and Blaine doesn’t want to wait any longer. He leans up to kiss Sebastian and instantly melts when their lips meet. They stand near the field, their lips moving together like it’s what they were always meant to do. They’re pressed together under the stars, and this would be the damn most romantic thing Blaine has ever experienced if…

He stills a little, feeling the guilt rise up again and Sebastian realizes, the deep passionate kisses turning into quick perfunctory pecks. He pulls away from Blaine and frowns thoughtfully before his face lights up and Blaine can tell he has a plan.

“Lay down,” he practically growls and Blaine isn’t sure what he has in mind, but he’d be willing to do just about anything to keep that look on Sebastian’s face. He lays down on the field, a few feet away from where they are currently standing so they’re more hidden in the shadows. But the light from the stars still illuminates their faces, and Sebastian looks like an angel as he lowers himself to the ground. Blaine closes his eyes, waiting for the soft press of Sebastian’s lips, when he realizes it’s not coming.

He realizes it because he can feel Sebastian’s hands at his waist, one pulling his zipper down, the other tugging his pants down carefully.

“Lift up,” he instructs, tapping the side of Blaine’s hips. Blaine doesn’t know why but he does what he’s told, and the next thing he knows, his bare ass is touching the grass, cool from the night air, and Sebastian has his pants and boxers tugged down to his knees.

“Fuck,” Blaine breathes out and Sebastian instantly grins.

“Now that’s the attitude I was looking for.”

Blaine is laying on his back, staring up at the clear night sky, the stars twinkling above them, but when he pulls his head up to stare down at the other boy, the stars pale in comparison.

Sebastian’s legs are on either side of Blaine’s and he’s lowering his mouth down on to Blaine’s cock. That alone is enough to make Blaine groan in satisfaction, but the whole picture is what might kill him. Sebastian is holding himself up above Blaine’s body, his mouth the only part of his own making the connection between the two as he raises and lowers himself like he’s doing the world’s most obscene push ups. His shoulders are tight and Blaine can see the muscles in his arms from his lacrosse conditioning through his T-shirt, but he wants to see everything. 

“More. I need more,” Blaine begs and he can feel Sebastian’s chuckle reverberate through his body. He pulls off teasingly, his tongue lingering on the head before reaching up and tugging off his shirt. 

“It’s even better than the picture,” Blaine jokes breathily, and even though every part of his reasonable brain is telling him this is so, so wrong, he can’t help the moan that comes out when Sebastian wraps his lips around him again and slides his tongue up and down the shaft. It’s sleek and precise, just like everything about Sebastian, and Blaine begs for more, reaching down to run his hands across the burning skin of Sebastian’s back as he chases his release.

As far as blowjobs go, it’s certainly not the most comfortable Sebastian’s ever been, but he will go to his grave before he ever complains about this night. To his credit, Blaine is raising his hips to meet Sebastian, slowly from the angle, and that prevents him from accidentally slipping and thrusting too hard and hitting the back of his throat. Although his thrusts are waning as he gets closer and closer to the edge.

Blaine keeps his eyes on the stars shining above him as his blazing skin continually hits the cool grass of the field. Finally, he can’t take it anymore and squeezes his eyes shut as his orgasm hits. And the stars above come nowhere near the stars behind his eyelids.

Sebastian swallows everything so when he finally pulls off, Blaine flinches from the cold of Sebastian’s saliva still lingering on his exposed cock. Sebastian seems to sense this and he reaches down, pulling Blaine’s clothing up to cover him. Sebastian’s hands are barely off the clasp of his pants when Blaine sits up, reaching for his hands to hold them in place and surging forward to kiss Sebastian. The two of them stay on the ground making out until Blaine reaches out, placing his hand on Sebastian’s chest to halt their movements. They stop for a moment, but Blaine can still feel Sebastian’s hot panting breaths as they huddle close.

Blaine feels so far removed from himself he feels like he’s having an out of body experience. But at the same time, he is completely in the moment, feeling everything so intensely.

That’s when he decides to give Sebastian a taste of his own medicine. 

He reaches down between them and tugs down Sebastian’s zipper as the other boy’s eyes grow larger. He instantly finds his way inside and wraps his hand around Sebastian’s length. He realizes the angle is a little rough and awkward, but Sebastian doesn’t seem to mind, if his shallow breaths and hooded eyes are any inclination.

“Jesus, Blaine,” he grunts out and Blaine can’t help the small smile that breaks out on his face feeling a small sense of control over Sebastian. His strokes speed up and Blaine wishes his shirt was off too so that they could be skin to skin, but he doesn’t want to stop, not sure he could if he tried.

Maybe next time is the thought that crosses his mind.

Sebastian has his head buried in the crook of Blaine’s neck and Blaine can feel his hot breath on his skin. When he comes, he grips Blaine’s arm hard and bites down on the inside of his neck, right on the spot that he left only a few days ago. Blaine cries out, eyes watering slightly in pain, but as Sebastian finishes, he retracts his hand from inside his boxers and wipes his remaining traces on the grass next to them.

As Sebastian comes down from his high, he is grinning, “You did that on purpose.”

Blaine shrugs, teasing, “Wanted you to know what it felt like.”

Sebastian hops up and walks a few feet away to where a tree is blocking Blaine’s view of him. Blaine stretches out to try and see him, but before he can look too closely, Sebastian is heading back, boxers in hand that he quickly tosses in a trash can near the field.

He smirks as he extends his hand to pull Blaine up, “Couldn’t exactly pick up Kurt from Breadstix in _those_ boxers.”

There are a million reasons why he should hate Sebastian. He’s cocky, shameless, shows a total disregard for what matters to other people. He throws Blaine’s words back in his face to mock him.

He’s the reason he’s cheating on Kurt.

But all Blaine can think as he stares at him is: when can we do this again?

And he knows.

He has to end it. 

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” he says with a laugh that he’s trying to make his voice sound light despite all the dark things he’s feeling.

“Heard it once or twice,” Sebastian replies with a wink, “Come on, killer, let me take you home.”

As they walk across the field to the Dalton parking lot, Blaine is once again hit with the overwhelming desire to touch. He wants to hold Sebastian’s hand, feel his arm around his shoulder, anything to keep their bodies in contact.

But he can’t. And it breaks his heart more than anything else about this situation.

When they get to the car, Sebastian unlocks it, but stops as he opens his door. Blaine does the same, looking over to see the reason for the pause.

“Hey,” Sebastian clears his throat, attempting to appear as casual as possible. He’s avoiding Blaine’s gaze entirely. 

“Would you maybe want to come to a game sometime?”

Blaine’s heart flutters, “I’d like that.”

Sebastian looks up, and for a moment they lock eyes. Blaine could swear it’s a moment of connection, of vulnerability, but as quick as it comes, it goes and Sebastian is getting into the driver’s seat.

They don’t say much on the drive, just listen to music and get lost in their own thoughts. When Sebastian pulls up a few houses down from Blaine’s, he parks and looks over.

“So what story did you give the parents?”

Blaine blushes, “Actually, I…uh snuck out.”

“Blaine Anderson,” Sebastian says in a slow drawl, dragging out the syllables in his name, “you have never been sexier.”

Blaine rolls his eyes, but can’t fight the smile creeping across his face, “Goodnight, Sebastian.”

He turns to exit the car when Sebastian pulls at the arm that’s still in the car and tugs him back. There is moment of hesitation where it seems like Sebastian might say something, but instead, he moves forward, kissing Blaine and gripping the fabric of his T-shirt to keep him in place. They sit in the car for a few moments, their exhalations the only sounds disturbing the quiet.

When they pull apart, Sebastian flicks his eyes upward to make eye contact and murmurs, “Goodnight, Blaine.”

Blaine somehow manages to make his way out of the car and to the back of his house where the spare key is waiting under the mat like it always has been. The lights are all off in the house so he knows his parents are asleep. He creeps up the stairs and into his bedroom where his math book still sits. 

He knows he is royally screwed on his test and he’s exhausted, so he clicks off the lamp and lays down on the bed. Even though all the lights are off, his window is still open and the light from the moon and stars is shining brightly through. He rolls on to his side to look out the window when he notices he has a text.

Stars still the best view you’ve had tonight?

Blaine knows he should go to bed. He should ignore the message. He should stop this.

And yet.

Not even close.

iii. Tea

Blaine fails his test.

He’s hardly surprised. Since that night at Dalton, he’s barely been sleeping, unable to focus on anything but a mixture of Sebastian’s hands all over him and Kurt’s eyes boring into him at lunch when he barely says two words.

He feels like he’s living two lives.

And he can’t do it anymore.

So finally, he calls him and asks him to meet at the Lima Bean. He doesn’t think he can stomach a coffee for this conversation so he orders a peppermint tea for himself and the other boy’s typical coffee order and waits.

At first when Kurt walks in, he doesn’t see Blaine and Blaine just watches him. His mind flashes back to when they first met when he sang to Kurt like he was the only person in the world.

From one Warbler to another. 

They finally lock eyes and Kurt smiles tentatively. Blaine feels like he might throw up.

Kurt sits down and grabs the cup sitting nearest to him. Before Blaine can stop him, Kurt takes a sip of the tea and looks at Blaine, confused.

“Peppermint tea? Something wrong with your voice?”

Fuck. Kurt is concerned about him. He has to make it stop. He’s made up his mind.

“No, but there is something I need to talk to you about.”

Kurt sighs, “Is it about the other night?”

The other night? Blaine is wracking his brain trying to think of a fight they had or something he might’ve said, but Kurt looks like he’s already prepared himself for the worst.

“I saw you get into that car, Blaine. When you were supposed to be studying.”

Blaine feels like he can hear glass shattering somewhere. He knows.

But he doesn’t know everything.

“Did you follow me?”

He doesn’t want to sound accusatory, he knows he’s the guilty party here. But he’s desperate to find out what Kurt knows. He doesn’t want to break his heart all over again rehashing details he’s already sure of.

Or worse, repainting pictures he’s already seen with his own eyes.

“Rachel and I came over to surprise you. We brought snacks and a movie and were going to give you a study break. That was before I saw you sneaking out of your bedroom window and getting into a stranger’s car.”

Okay so he didn’t see him with Sebastian. He’s glad that he at least doesn’t have that visual in his mind, he doesn’t want to hurt him.

More than he already has. More than he’s going to.

“I didn’t know that person in the car, it was an Uber. I was going to Dalton. To see Sebastian.”

Kurt is stunned. He barely knows of Sebastian, the new captain of the Warblers, but he knew that Blaine was different after he came back from meeting him.

“Sebastian? Why? I thought you just happened to meet him when you went back to Dalton.”

“I did, but…he asked if we could meet again, and I wanted to. So badly.”

“What’s going on, Blaine?”

Blaine sighs, “I’m sorry, you deserve better than me.”

Kurt’s eyes are gleaming, Blaine knows he’s going to leave here and cry. But he won’t give Blaine that satisfaction.

“Did you have sex with him?”

Blaine hesitates, “No, but -“

“But you’ve done enough with him to know you don’t want to be with me.”

“Kurt, I —“

“You don’t know him, Blaine!” Kurt shrieks and Blaine doesn’t blame him. His whole world has been turned upside down in only a matter of minutes.

“Maybe not,” Blaine admits, “But I know enough about what I’ve done to know that it wouldn’t be right to be with you anymore.”

“Do I get a say in any of this?” Kurt is near the point of breaking and Blaine is devastated. How did he let it get like this?

“Do you really want to be with someone who cheated on you?”

“I don’t—” Kurt does shed a tear then, he can’t help it, can’t even finish his sentences. It’s all out in the open now, Blaine cheated, there’s no way around it.

“This is so unfair.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Blaine reaches over to touch Kurt’s hand, to comfort him, but he flinches and pulls away.

“Why? Why did you do this?”

Blaine thinks about saying that he doesn’t know, but the truth is that he does, whether it’s right or wrong.

“I want him,” he admits, “I don’t know why, but every time I see him, I just feel drawn. And maybe it’s missing Dalton or the Warblers, but -“

And it’s at this point he realizes he’s said too much. Kurt’s face has gone from sad to angry, and Blaine wishes he could take it back. He wishes he could lie one more time.

“Goodbye, Blaine,” Kurt says hurriedly, rising from the table, leaving his coffee untouched, “I’ll see you at school.”

And then he’s gone.  
…

He does see Kurt at school, but he’s usually with Rachel, the two of them huddled close and muttering quietly. Kurt doesn’t acknowledge him but occasionally Rachel will catch his eye and he can see the pity, sadness and anger all mixed together in her gaze.

When he sings in glee club, they all stare and clap politely when he finishes but he can tell they’re all thinking one thing.

_How could you?_

The betrayal of one of their own is something none of them can seem to forgive Blaine for.

And truth be told, the further he gets from Sebastian, the harder it is for him to answer that question. Sebastian texts him but the messages either go unanswered or they receive a one or two word response.

Blaine wants him, just like he did before, but he doesn’t know how to move out of this space where he has himself convinced he deserves to be unhappy.

He feels frozen between the past and the future. 

He even goes to the Lima Bean in an attempt to restore some normalcy to his life, but when he goes to order a coffee, a lump forms in his throat, thinking about Sebastian’s Courvoisier and coffee, and he can’t do it, not yet, so he just orders a peppermint tea to keep his stomach calm and sits down.

He’s staring out the window, zoned out and people watching when he hears a voice that instantly pulls at his heartstrings.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were avoiding me.”

Blaine glances up and there’s Sebastian dressed to the nines in his Dalton blues. He motions at the seat across from Blaine, “This seat taken?”

“No,” Blaine manages to choke out, and he can’t help but stare as Sebastian sits down and they are facing each other. Both have a flashback to when they first met, sitting like this at Dalton, but their minds also flash to that night on the stage, that morning in Blaine’s bedroom, that night on the lacrosse field.

It all had to mean something, didn’t it?

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Blaine says desperately, wishing he could come up with a better response. But it’s clear Sebastian is tired of waiting for answers.

“You’re _lying_ ,” Sebastian snaps back almost instantly, “did Kurt tell you to stop talking to me?”

“I think you’ll recall there wasn’t much I ran by Kurt when it came to me and you,” Blaine responds with a pointed stare.

Sebastian is confused, “Why are you talking about both things in the past tense?”

“Because you and I feel like a lifetime away and Kurt and I…” he’s afraid to admit it because he knows the revelation will change everything. Once Sebastian knows, there’s no going back.

“Kurt and I broke up.”

In the very short time he’s known him, Blaine has never seen Sebastian stunned silent. But this clearly wasn’t the news he was expecting. He was expecting to come here, to fight for Blaine, to bring him back into his life.

He had no idea Blaine wasn’t fighting anymore. 

“My hands have been tied literally almost since the moment I met you,” Blaine admits, and for the first time in a while, he allows a small smile to cross his lips at his clever reference.

“Then why are still punishing yourself for this?” Sebastian asks, raising an eyebrow and reaching out to Blaine’s cup, holding up the tag from the teabag peeking out of the lid.

“I can’t even drink coffee without thinking of you,” Blaine mumbles, and then he clears his throat, feeling emboldened, “How this all happened, it was so so wrong, but -“

“But?”

“But I still want it. I still want you.”

Sebastian places both arms on the table, leaning closer, and Blaine’s eyes flick up at him. They’re so close Blaine can almost feel Sebastian’s breath on his lips. 

“I haven’t been with anyone since I met you, Blaine. I haven’t sent a text, flirted, kissed anyone since you.”

“How flattering,” Blaine says with a smirk.

“Hey, that may be shocking for your vanilla lifestyle, but for me, that’s a huge deal.” Everything Sebastian says is laced with the slightest hint of bite, but Blaine knows he’s being sincere.

“You’re going to have to stop calling me vanilla if you want to be with me, you know.” Blaine says it quietly but it feels like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders and he glances up at Sebastian with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Oh you want to be with me, huh?” Sebastian leans back against his chair and crosses his arms, but he is smiling. 

“Yes,” Blaine answers plain and simple. And then he adds:

“And I want to come home.”

Sebastian isn’t sure what he means by that at first, but then Blaine’s eyes glance down ever so slightly and he catches his meaning. He reaches up to his neck to loosen his tie and Blaine’s mind flashes back to that night after West Side Story where all of this began. When he snaps out of his daydream, he looks down at Sebastian’s hands on the table, outstretched, offering his Dalton tie.

“So come home.”

Before, the tie had been use to bind, to restrain him. But now?

It’s his salvation, his freedom.

“Think the Warblers would let me be Captain again?” Blaine asks with a teasing grin.

“As Captain of said Warblers, I can respond to that with an emphatic hell no,” Sebastian leans across the table again, “but -“

Before he finishes, he continues his movements until his breath is ghosting over Blaine’s lips. Blaine gives the smallest nod and that’s all the permission Sebastian needs. He presses their lips together and swears he can hear Blaine sigh into their kiss. The movements are sweet and slow, Sebastian running his tongue along Blaine’s bottom lip but not pushing any further. When they break apart, his smile is glowing as he completes his statement.

“I would say you’re a shoo-in for co-Captain.”

Blaine laughs and places the tie loosely around his neck, “So, what do you think?”

Sebastian smiles back, “Never looked better.”


End file.
